We won't sleep together?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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