The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize