The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
i think my cat just said my name.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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