I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
