ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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