I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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