I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
