How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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