Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I love you.
Bad choice
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
