I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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