It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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