after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
