this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize