Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
