The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
