I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
