She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
third nipple confirmed
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize