Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
