Buhtt sex?
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Randomize
