Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
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