So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
