Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
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Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
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You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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