their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
