is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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