Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
