Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
She bit a glass in half.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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