that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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