Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
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We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
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Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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