I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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