i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize
