Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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