you guys were way drunker than both of me
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
