one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
