I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
