about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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