do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
