I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
