You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
