Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
smell my finger.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
