just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
