I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize