she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Randomize
