I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize