I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I think your dad took our porno
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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