why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
