I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
