Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I didn't shave. On purpose
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
