Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
i now understand why vodka
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
