Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
