Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(419): View more from Ohio

with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter

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(419): with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter http://tfl.nu/l06j

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(845): View more from New York

Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.

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(845): Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes. http://tfl.nu/5scb

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her

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(603): not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her http://tfl.nu/t8zc

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(303): View more from Colorado

I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book

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(303): I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book http://tfl.nu/0iyr

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(847): View more from Illinois

his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts

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(847): his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts http://tfl.nu/kozn

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.

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(484): You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy. http://tfl.nu/h40g

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(850): View more from Florida

I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.

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(850): I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before. http://tfl.nu/vbyg

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.

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(724): It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution. http://tfl.nu/mzdu

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.

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(717): i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it. http://tfl.nu/e8nk

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(248): View more from Michigan

We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.

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(248): We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment. http://tfl.nu/088o

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman

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(724): we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman http://tfl.nu/wgol

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?

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(610): Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen? http://tfl.nu/hze5

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(731): View more from Tennessee

Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.

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(731): Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work. http://tfl.nu/qr42

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(801): View more from Utah

I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.

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(801): I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped. http://tfl.nu/dgi2

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(404): View more from Georgia

Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?

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(404): Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders? http://tfl.nu/hbxh

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