But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
