just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
