You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
