if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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