Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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