so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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