It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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