I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
