She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
