dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
