i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You're breaking my sexual little heart
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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