Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I was not drunk enough for that final.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
