Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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