I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
