Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i dont even know how to be here
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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