You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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