question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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