omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
