hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
She's not a foreskin expert like you
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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